![]() any degree of cool at all), I was delighted. I just knew it.Ī month or two or three later, after I'd finally plucked up the courage to buy a magazine that I was sure was for girls that were much cooler than me (ie. I muddled my way through popular culture, listening to whatever everybody else was playing, and wearing pedal pushers and karma beads that year everybody else did. I caught a whiff of it every now and then, when an interesting song was played on the radio, or a woman walked past with a quirkier outfit than I usually got to see. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what cool was. I liked Guide camp because I didn't go to school with anyone there, so nobody knew that they had to ignore me if they wanted to be cool, and most of them would happily chat to me and even invite me to games. All I wanted to do all day was read books, write stories, sing along to music, and occasionally play my keyboard. ![]() I was lanky and bony, with glasses and flat hair, and one proper friend. One essential fact about my teenage self: I desperately wanted to be cool. The photoshoots were edgier and the articles meatier and I wanted it. It seemed to be aimed at a slightly older audience than Sugar, but without being completely boy-obsessed like Bliss, which I never could stand. One of the girls in my tent had a copy of J-17 that we flicked through, and it seemed so much cooler than any other magazine I'd read. To explain my love, we must rewind to Guide camp in the early Noughties. In my teens I read Mizz, and then Sugar, and then Sugar and J-17, and then finally just J-17. Last year I threw out several editions of Safeway (yes, the freebie from the supermarket that got taken over by Morrisons), and tore out the pages that I wanted to keep from countless other store magazines - though it took me until this year to tackle my piles of Spirit, the Superdrug magazine, because I could hardly bear to dismantle all those beautiful make-up photos. I've still got my hoards of Girl Talk and Art Attack from childhood, though I'll be sorting through them soon. Diary of a Crush and my J-17 mags, radiating cool.
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